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December 3, 2024

hartiverse

The website of Jamie Hart

mad formal executive man yelling at camera

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

It is I.

A statement of alleged fact. Sounds like Dracula making a dramatic entrance. Compare to “It is me.” Or the more likely phrase, “It’s me.”

What does the secret letter say? I is it.

A third-person conjugation of a first-person statement. Oh no! Not graphs! Compare to “I am it,” the expected response. Ha Ha! Your graphs are all wrong! But what is “it?”

Is he measuring the round Earth theory? Maybe he’s doodling with his compass. What else does he, ahem, doodle with? But enough about that. Back to our story. Is it I?

She doesn’t know. I think her ride is late. Or is it I? It’s an existential question with the wrong personal pronoun. Do you like my cool steampunk question mark? Compare to “Is it me?”

Something that computes. Is I it?

A third-person conjugation of a first-person question. Compare to “Am I it?” the expected question. Oh look, more graphs! Such a lovely colored histogram. So, am I it? She definitely thinks so. This speaker is talking too loud.

I it is.

She thinks she figured it out! But who talks like that?

Or eats like that? It I is.

This is getting weird now. Who is this speaker? Here comes the cat lady! Can things get any worse? Let’s try. Compare “It I is” to “It I am.” Equally as awkward.

Maybe she should slap him. “It I am” is definitely slap-worthy. Curb your enthusiasm with your hand. It is I.

Is Dracula an alien now? Only in science fiction. Where do you keep your, um, you-know-what? We’re back to where we started with no new information.

Excuse me while I hold my arms up and look at the sky. This has been fun, but all strange analyses must come to an end. So… go home, Dracula. You’re drunk. Give it a thumbs up if you liked the video. Bye for now. Ok, seriously. Put down the flaming sickle, please.